Love life with Deidre
Iâ€™VE been having incredible sex with a workmate.
It was meant to be just a one-off but Iâ€™ve fallen for him.
He says heâ€™s fallen for me too, but Iâ€™m worried that heâ€™s just playing games.
We both work in a carpet warehouse.
We stayed late to stocktake one evening last year and started chatting about our relationships.
We confided that we never had sex with our partners any more.
He said it would help us both to have sex just once, as a bit of fun.
My partner and I had not had sex for months so I jumped at the chance.
I am 23, my partner is 25.
My workmate is 36.
We ended up having sex on a stack of carpets.
It was wild and exciting.
After, we said we should do it on a regular basis but not get involved emotionally.
We mostly went round to his house when his wife was at work and felt more and more like a real couple.
A few weeks later we admitted we had fallen heavily for each other.
We agreed that we should both finish with our partners.
It was hard to do but I found the courage to tell my boyfriend after about a month.
I waited for my lover to do the same but he then said he felt under pressure from me and wanted to end our affair.
I told him there was no pressure from me, that I would wait as long as it takes, but the time never came.
We carried on our affair in secret but I decided I ought to give things another go with my ex.
That just made my lover want me more.
This has happened twice since, followed by more broken promises.
I love him so much but worry he is only playing games with me.
Every time I say I am finishing with him, he says he wants to be with me and have kids together.
When I agree to carry on, he goes back on his word.
I want to give things a go with my ex again but I cannot get over my lover.
Â You know there is no real future with your workmate and he is just messing you around.
He is either horribly immature or totally selfish but either way, heâ€™s bad news for you.
Make a firm promise to yourself to end it and mean it.
Avoid being alone with him, donâ€™t reply to any calls or messages so he knows you are determined.
Take things slowly if you decide to give things another go with your partner.
You will need to put right the problems you have had previously or you will only run into the same trouble again.
My e-leaflet Relationship MOT can help you sort it out.
Unsure whether my misses wants toÂ spice things up
I accidentallyÂ discovered my wife was viewing sites about women having sex with other men in front of their partners when she asked me to fix her PC.
She is 30 and has never shown any interest in such things.
I am 33 and it has always been a fantasy of mine, though I have never told her.
I want to act out this fantasy but I am unsure whether to say anything.
I keep thinking I do not satisfy her, especially as she refuses sex and then I wake up a few hours later and see she is pleasuring herself.
Answer SAYS:Â She asked you to fix her computer so she must have known you would see the websites.
Is it her way of telling you that she is interested in sharing your fantasies?
There is nothing wrong with fulfilling fantasies as long as you both want to and nobody is getting hurt.
My e-leaflet on Sexual Fantasies will help you talk about it together.
Iâ€™m never at the top of his priorities
My boyfriend promised we could start decorating our bedroom but he has let me down yet again.
Our bedroom is a mess and I have been asking him to do this for a while.
He finally set a date to start work but when he came home, he said it would have to wait because he was taking part in a competition at his boxing club.
He says boxing is his life and he should get to do what he wants.
I am fed up with it.
I think he has got his priorities wrong.
We are both 28 and have been together for two years but I am last on his list.
Answer SAYS:Â Lots of us have different priorities from our partner and the key is to compromise.
Give him one more chance and agree a date for the decorating, first checking that it is clear.
But also fix a date to go out and have fun together.
You donâ€™t want to be associated in his mind only with duties and demands.
Sheâ€™s my wife for two days a week
Two days a week my wife enjoys married life with me but she lives like a single woman the rest of the time.
We met online and married three months later.
When we first moved in together, everything was amazing.
We are both 29.
Then I discovered she had met another guy after we started dating and was also getting messages from different men at 1am.
Our relationship became very hostile.
She went back to live with her mother 11 months later and has told me not to go and visit her there.
She spends two nights a week with me but if I ask to see her any other time, she refuses.
She has also taken her wedding ring off.
I love her but she does not see why I cannot trust her.
Answer SAYS:Â This is no marriage but things will go on like this as long as you let them.
Tell your wife you want a real marriage that involves living together full-time and both giving it everything, or else it is over.
That would be hard but you will never be happy accepting your relationship staying like this.
My e-leaflet Moving On will help you find the way to a happier future.
Iâ€™m going to lose the girl I raised
I have brought up my granddaughter for the past four years.
Now she is going back to her dad and I donâ€™t know what rights I have.
My sonâ€™s then-girlfriend got pregnant at 17 so they moved in with me.
She left when the baby was nine months old.
My granddaughter is now nearly five.
She is a happy, well-behaved little girl
I am a 47-year-old widow and my son is 23.
He is getting married soon.
He and his fiancÃ©e want my granddaughter to live with them.
I am devastated.
She has been my life, now I am going to lose her.
I asked my son to think again but he said he will stop me having any contact if I make a fuss.
What can I do?
Answer SAYS: Â Long-term, it will be best for her to live with her father.
It would be cruel to break off contact with you but try to resolve this without talking about your rights.
Ask if you can have regular contact, perhaps looking after her one day a week.
Your son and his fiancÃ©e may welcome that.